October 8, 2004

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  Well, here’s the only pic I’ve got from our beloved MSH. Remind me next time I go back in time to give myself a digital cameral like 5 years earlier. Anyways, this is Alex, looking at a canyon formed in the 1980 deposit that’s ~100 feet deep. This proves that the Grand Canyon can be formed in only a few decades and the earth was born in 4004 BC.

  But seriously folks, I do have some exciting news. I just bought the new Fatboy Slim album. Yes he’s up to his old tricks, and not only in the music, but also in the videos. Check out Fatboy Slim’s website to see the new video for “Slash Dot Dash”. If you liked the videos for “Praise You” (guys dancing in Westwood) and “Weapon of Choice” (Christorpher Walken), you’ll find this video to be just as unrelated to the song but just as amazing. You’ll never think about markers, nudity, orange hats, and bathrooms in the same light.

  So, the other night I got caught up in watching a strange movie in German called Brother of Sleep. It was about this weird guy who like had visions and shit, and he was kinda an outcast, even though he was a virtuoso organ player. The important thing I got out of it was this girl was in love with him, but he chose his music over her. Great.

  Since all of you love the features on my xanga, and are always demanding more, I have decided to add a new feature.

  From the makers of EPFW and The Semi-diurnal Rant comes…

  TALES OF FERNMAN!

  This will be stories of the exploits of a certain someone who shall remain nameless (but you can guess who). This idea is loosely based upon Offenbach’s excellent and famous opera “Tales of Hoffman”. These stories I’ve been hearing are just too good to be hidden away from the public. So, I’m just givin’ you what you want, Fernman by the barrelful.

  Today’s Tale of Fernman is rated: TV MA – AC, SC, N key
  Do not read on if under 18 years of age or if faint of heart.

  Our hero was at a bar, an Irish pub he likes to frequent. He met a girl, and Irish girl. This came about because of her drink order. While our hero was drinking Guiness, the irish girl ordered Cuervo on the rocks (ironic, eh?). Well, they got to talking, and as the bar closed, they decided it was time for tacos. After tacos, they headed back to her place. Well, after listing to vintage and rare CDs for some time, things progressed, and our hero discovered that the Irish girl had a surprizingly attractive body for being a pale, skinny white chick. They wound up having sex and falling asleap. At 6AM, things got interesting. At this early moring time, our hero and his most recent conquest were awoken by a knock at the door. This did not sit well with our hero. He wanted to hide, or go somewhere else, but this was just a studio apartment, and his nudity prevented an escape from under the sheets. The Irish girl stumbles to the door, semi-dressed, and answers the door. At the door is another man. Our hero does not know who it is, but from what he could gather, it is an ex of the girl. After a breif conversation, she turns to our hero and says, “I have to go,” at which point, she proceeds to go. Our hero, befuddled at the current situation, does what anyone would do in this situation, alone in another person’s apartment he barely knows. He goes to her CD collection, borrows a few, and leaves. He would see her again, but it is safe to say this relationship is doomed, not from the former incident, but from a racist comment on the second date (along the lines of “Mexicans don’t belong in this country”).  That would be the relationship’s downfall.

  So, there you go. If you like our newest feature, I assure you there will be more to come. If you didn’t like it, too bad. Just kidding…maybe…is he joking?

  • 4:30 pm
  • 3 Comments